Dear Zoe:
Date created: 2/3/10 Section: FEATURES
Dear Zoe,
I love my boyfriend very much but lately I've been pretty bored hanging out with him. He's nice but the spark just isn't there anymore. I want things to work out because we've been together for so long, ever since freshman year of high school. But I realized recently that I'd rather hang out with other people or just be by myself instead of spending time with him. I feel really guilty feeling this way because he's so nice and is still so into me. I want to be with him, but not if it stays this way because I don't want to pretend being happy if I'm not. How can I stay together with him but still have fun? Or is this a sign that we should break up? Help please!
Tired of being bored
Dear TOBB,
Ah, if only we could all stay in young love forever, where everything is new and exciting all the time! Sounds like you're finally exiting the "honeymoon period" of your relationship and you're finding that real life relationships are not all about hearts, flowers, thrills and chills. Don't worry though--I think what you're feeling right now is perfectly normal and it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed. It just sounds like some adjustments need to be made and you also have to realize that while your relationship will probably never be the same as it was in the beginning, that also means that it could end up even better than before.
The first thing to look at is the amount of time you two are spending together. Maybe you used to love to spend every free moment with your boyfriend and now you're bored by all this togetherness. If you are spending a lot of time together, try to scale back. That way, it will help you miss him more so that when you do see each other, you'll value your time with him. It's easy to take someone for granted if they are there all the time. But if you can only see him a few times a week, or only on weekends, I'm pretty sure you won't be as bored with him anymore.
Another thing to think about is the quality of your time together. When you hang out, what are you doing? If you just get together to stare at the TV for hours or only do homework, then no wonder you're bored. Try to think of new and fun things to do together so that you will both enjoy the activity and also have something exciting to share with each other. Go hike somewhere new, take a fun class together, teach him something you're good at, learn something from him, or try out that cute cafe near your house. Going through different adventures together is bound to bring you two closer together and it's really hard to be bored if you make an effort to try new things.
I love my boyfriend very much but lately I've been pretty bored hanging out with him. He's nice but the spark just isn't there anymore. I want things to work out because we've been together for so long, ever since freshman year of high school. But I realized recently that I'd rather hang out with other people or just be by myself instead of spending time with him. I feel really guilty feeling this way because he's so nice and is still so into me. I want to be with him, but not if it stays this way because I don't want to pretend being happy if I'm not. How can I stay together with him but still have fun? Or is this a sign that we should break up? Help please!
Tired of being bored
Dear TOBB,
Ah, if only we could all stay in young love forever, where everything is new and exciting all the time! Sounds like you're finally exiting the "honeymoon period" of your relationship and you're finding that real life relationships are not all about hearts, flowers, thrills and chills. Don't worry though--I think what you're feeling right now is perfectly normal and it doesn't mean that your relationship is doomed. It just sounds like some adjustments need to be made and you also have to realize that while your relationship will probably never be the same as it was in the beginning, that also means that it could end up even better than before.
The first thing to look at is the amount of time you two are spending together. Maybe you used to love to spend every free moment with your boyfriend and now you're bored by all this togetherness. If you are spending a lot of time together, try to scale back. That way, it will help you miss him more so that when you do see each other, you'll value your time with him. It's easy to take someone for granted if they are there all the time. But if you can only see him a few times a week, or only on weekends, I'm pretty sure you won't be as bored with him anymore.
Another thing to think about is the quality of your time together. When you hang out, what are you doing? If you just get together to stare at the TV for hours or only do homework, then no wonder you're bored. Try to think of new and fun things to do together so that you will both enjoy the activity and also have something exciting to share with each other. Go hike somewhere new, take a fun class together, teach him something you're good at, learn something from him, or try out that cute cafe near your house. Going through different adventures together is bound to bring you two closer together and it's really hard to be bored if you make an effort to try new things.
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